(Friday 22nd September)
I’m typing this while still at the hospital. I had to go in for a growth scan again as the baby was measuring big but fortunately today it’s back to being within the realms of “normal” I’m currently strapped up to a baby heart monitor in triage as I think I’m leaking! I actually started writing because of the audacious nature on the midwife at the reception and to calm myself down. Even before I gave her any information or she asked me any questions about my symptoms she told me it was just discharge in a very dismissive manner. Leaking amniotic fluid is potentially harmful and could lead to infection in me and baby, how dare she dismiss me and my concerns without even asking a single question. She didn’t even say “hopefully” or “probably” she could somehow just tell by looking at me! Those are some serious skills she has, maybe she’s wasted in the health service!! I told her I wanted it checked out and she told me to go and take a seat and then 10 minutes later called out to me for my purple folder! Didn’t come to me, a heavily pregnant woman who is clearly waddling, but shouted at me to come to her! In this exchange, where is the care?? Is this woman really suited to helping others in what is possibly the most magical yet scary/terrifying experience of their lives?? I’m annoyed because as I’ve mentioned earlier this is the second consecutive negative experience with Triage – expectant mothers don’t come here for fun, we’re genuinely concerned about the health of our unborn child, surly midwives should have better bedside manners than those in the Royal London Triage department? I’m feeling much calmer now. The Dr came to see me about 2 hours later and she was lovely. I always feel bad for being grumpy at the staff as I know they’re overworked and understaffed, but the behaviour of the initial midwife was completely unacceptable.
I’ve spent most of this week horizontal, fortunately I’ve had my older sister and dad around to help out. On Tuesday I was convinced I was going into labour, I had a slight temperature, lower back pain, was feeling nauseated and had diarrhoea (tmi?)! Obviously I jumped straight onto Google to diagnose myself and every thread led me to believe labour was imminent (my husband who has my daughter and isn’t allowed in Triage with me just called me to let me know the waiting area closes at 6pm! What nonsense). It clearly wasn’t, I guess at this stage it’s a waiting game and as I’m so utterly fed up of feeling so unwell and run down, I was just hoping baby might make an appearance, although I’d like it to wait until 37 weeks, which is considered full term.
At 36 weeks the baby is about 18 inches long and weighs 5lbs 7, I can confidently report this as I’ve just had a growth scan. It’s moving quite a bit and lots more than my daughter did. I think I can even feel body parts like knees and elbows. It’s such a beautiful thing to feel your baby move inside you, I’m always grabbing my husbands hand and planting it in my belly when I get big movements, but I don’t think he feels the same delight as I do. It used to really upset me with baby A, but having seen what a great dad he is and how strongly the two of them have bonded I’ve come to accept that our connections to the bump are just different. It’s natural that I’d be more in tune and connected with it as it’s inside me and happening to my body, but when the baby makes its exit it’s I know it will be a different story, just like with A.
Have you had any negative experiences during your hospital visits? I’d love to know how other women find their maternity experience. I have to say my experience with A at the same hospital was wonderful and that’s why I decided to come back. Not sure how I’d feel if either of the last two midwife I’ve seen in Triage are at my birth! I have my next appointment on Tuesday and if I’m feeling brave I might ask the midwife what my options are.